Purity

Purity in life, in spirit, in thought, in heart. I want purity. "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an examples for the believers in love, in life, in faith, in speech, and in purity." I was to be that example. I so desperately desire to throw everything aside just to glorify God all the more. I now know exactly what it looks like to be pure. The last 8 months God has been teaching me, and not I am ready to act on what I learned. I can't be ignorant anymore. God has shown me and I must obey him. Even if everyone else is not being pure, I still desire to seek after it. I wish people would see the vitality of purity, how it really shows to the world just who you follow. I desire my life to be like that, even if it results in loosing people, in loosing friendships. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Throwing off the people who slow me down, who pull me from God. Wow, that's big. Not conforming to what the world it doing, or even to what my family and friends are doing- that is usually the hardest. You can say no to the world because you're often not connected, but your family and friends- you love them and it is hard to say no. You justify things. But I want nothing more to be one in mind with the Lord and Savior of my life- in thought, word and deed. And so I throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. I run to you. I put on the the things that bring me closer to you- man God, you are beautiful. I am thrilled that you love me, that you call me your princess. Wow, you really knew what you were doing when you said that you would fulfill our deepest needs, because right now I just might need to take you up on that offer. I don't know how people who don't know you hold on. I would feel overwhelmed by life's hurts and pain. Thank you God that you are there for me. That you supernaturally bring in your healing and love. So discipline is needed, and strength from Jesus. Already in the last few weeks he's given me grace. I just need to remember my heart is easily breakable, so I give it to God to hold on to it. He'll be gentle- he'll be a gentleman. Because that's just what he does. =)

Jesus the Gentleman

I also realize that I am tired of fighting for attention. I am tired of looking to the world for that acceptance. I see Jesus just waiting at the door, just waiting for me to come to him. His arms are open, and He’s telling me that I will be loved. That I am loved. He’s been waiting there amidst the chaos, amidst the empty attention I’ve been trying to obtain. He hasn’t left, he hasn’t interfered. He’s just been standing there, waiting for me. He’s been waiting. His face is downcast, He is sad. But I ignore it. I ignore him. I look to other people for acceptance, for attention. All the while my Jesus just waits. He is patient. He is jealous, but patient. He is a gentleman. But I’ve thrown so  much away Jesus, why would you want me back? I’ve given myself away, and not to you. I’ve said Jesus take my heart, guard it, save it for me. But I’ve prostituted myself, I’ve thrown my heart in the dirt. I’ve taken it from you, and given it to someone else. But I am broken. I am teared. I can’t keep this up. So I do come to the door, I do open it to him. He is still there, smiling. The tears are still there, but his smile is radiant. He takes my hand and says welcome back my daughter. He doesn’t shove me away, or remind me of all the times I’ve ignored him. He simply takes my hand again and leads me out of the door. I am with my Lover and I am loved. But unfortunately, the door still remains open. Jesus does not close it. The world inside is screaming out, it is enticing. It is calling. But for now I rest in his love, in his acceptance. I do not want the world, but it is still there. Jesus, I love you. Please forgive me once again. Thank you for your grace.

Delighting and Pursuing

The idea of not settling for good, or lame, but pursing best has been a hot topic on my heart for the last couple of months. I desire to put away things that don't bring me to my full potential. So today as I was reading my Bible, I decided to pick some verses which would demonstrate what kind of attitude I have towards this new year. One verse that I did not pick but has been on my heart since Sunday is "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open to you." And so I decided to ask something of God, to test him in it. I asked for deep-hearted, genuine love. A love so rooted in God my mind can't even comprehend it. A love that only  Jesus can demonstrate through me, something I could never produce. I desire to love people for where they are now, faults and all. I want to stop judging simply because someone is not at the place they should be. I want to love here and now. So that was a request I asked of God, and the verse that went along with that is 1 John 3:16: "This is how we now what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." In this verse, it is simply stated just how we are to demonstrate love. By laying our lives down for our brothers and sisters, for those lost in the world, for the loveable and unlovable. And that isn't just our physical lives, but just simply our lives and all that comes along with them. Our time, our energy, our resources, our money, our houses, our cars, our food, our clothes, our socks, our time.... Sometimes time can be the biggest for me. Sure, I can hand someone some money to do something, but really stopping and slowing down and saying ya, I'm going to give you these next couple of hours. And sometimes even when we give our time we're not even there. Our minds worry about something else and we're not even there for the person! It can be ridiculous and I do it! Grr... That's another thing that's been on my heart. Living in the present. Not regretting the past, or worrying about the future, but taking in everything right now! Being fully alive in the moment! I don't want to miss a thing that God has to show me in my life. I don't want to miss sights, or sounds, or special moments... only because I was worrying about something I said 3 days ago..  I want to truly live in God's good grace.. making the most of every single day! Because every single day I wake, His grace and faithfulness and replenished and I have a new chance at living! How sweet is that! The second verse I claimed for this year is Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." This is sweet! There are verses that talk about seeking God and He will be found, but delighting yourself in the Lord? That is a new level of relationship! Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.....Hmmm, this is beautiful. I hope to delight myself in my Lord and Saviour :) The third and final verse is Song of Songs 8:4 "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." To me, this verse doesn't just have to be applied to romantic relationships, but I also just see it as a verse for daily desires. My desire to go out into the world and be a world is not realistic at this point in my life, simply because I don't have the experience. So as sweet as this dream is, I can't let it run away in my mind. I can't be so focussed on the future that I miss the present. There's much to be gained during this season in my life. This is one interpretation, but the romantic interpretation also applies. I don't want to be on the lookout. I want to be on the lookout for God. I want him to show me that he will fulfill me. He is the great Romancer, and quite possibly I don't want to holding out for anything except my God. This goes back to my last post. I don't want to be wanting it now, or completely pushing away. I want to surrender it to God. In His timing and with His will, good things will happen! I don't want to settle for good, but I want to strive for BEST! So with these verses I hope to move through this year. I can say that I am excited for this year, and am excited to see what God has in store.