My thoughts...

Sometimes you just go through those times where you're not really interested in God or getting to know him more. Well, it might not even be that extreme, but you're just in that state of being lukewarm without a real desire to grow and deepen your relationship with God. This past week has been kind of like that. I was just in this state that I would wake up and not even acknowledge God and I would continue on with my day and not bring him into it or ask him for his strength. So last night I had made plans to make cookies with my friend, but it didn't really work out. So I was sitting at my computer and then I just had this feeling of emptiness (I think that would be the best way to describe it) and I just felt like there was this little hole that nothing else could fill. And I felt this enormous hunger for Jesus. I felt this desire to be consumed in Jesus, to just be completely absorbed in him. And so I dropped what I was doing and just gave myself to spending time with Jesus. And it was good. Jesus never disappoints when I sincerely desire to spend time with him. That time I spend with Jesus will be different every time. Sometimes I'll talk his ear off, sometimes I'll just fall asleep in his presence, and sometimes I just need to read my Bible like it's the last thing I'll ever do. But it really doesn't matter what goes on. God just desires to spend time with me. He just wants me to be in his presence and just to absorb him up. And back to what I was saying before, that God doesn't disappoint anytime we seek him. Sometimes it might not be how we wanted it, but his way is always better. And I ask myself this question so many times of why I wouldn't want the best for my life, why wouldn't I just want to surrender everything I have so I can seek after Jesus? Every time I really put my heart and mind into seeking him, he really does fulfill me. I mean, sometimes I have those desires that just seem to clash against God's desires, but as I continue to get to know him more, then his desires will eventually mesh into my desires as well. Man, how cool would it be if everything we did, everything thought, word, action, everything, was centred around Jesus and if we asked ourself just how can I bring glory to God by what I'm about to do? That's what I desire to be like, and only through God's strength and grace will it ever be done!